From Drama to Empowerment
So much of our energy doesn’t get lost in the big crises of life – it leaks out in everyday conversations and relationships. One of the most common ways this happens is through something called the drama triangle (created by Stephen Karpman).
The drama triangle has three roles:
The Victim: “Why is this happening to me?”
The Rescuer: “I need to fix this for you.”
The Persecutor: “This is all your fault.”
At first glance, these roles might feel extreme. But here’s the truth: most of us play them all the time, in subtle ways, without even realizing it.
You might sigh to a colleague, “I can’t believe I got stuck with this project again” (Victim).
You might jump in and say to a friend, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it for you” – even when they didn’t ask (Rescuer).
You might snap at your partner, “You never listen” (Persecutor).
Sound familiar? It’s so common we often mistake it for “normal.” But every time we step into one of these roles, we lose energy. We trade clarity for drama. We drain ourselves and those around us. Most importantly, we take away empowerment – both our own and others’.
Because here’s the thing: you can’t be in the drama triangle alone. It requires at least one other person to play with you. And once you’re in, the energy spirals. Someone has to stay the Victim, someone has to rescue, someone has to blame. The roles may shift, but the pattern stays. And while it keeps us busy, it keeps us small.
The freedom comes when we notice the triangle and step out of it.
When we choose another way of relating: responsibility, clarity, presence.
Instead of Victim: take responsibility. What can I do differently?
Instead of Rescuer: hold space. Trust that others can solve their own challenges, and support without taking over.
Instead of Persecutor: speak truth with clarity, without blame.
For me, realizing this dynamic changed the way I show up in both personal and professional settings. I started catching myself in the subtle moments – the sighs, the “let me help,” the little frustrations – and choosing something else. It’s not always easy. But every time I do, I feel the energy return. And I see others step into more of their own power too.
The drama triangle is one of the most common ways we drain our energy without knowing it. But once we see it, we can no longer pretend it’s just “normal.” We have a choice. And the choice is freedom.
💎 Resource: Short video explaining the Drama Triangle
Shift Section: Where in your life or work do you notice drama roles playing out – and what would it take to step out of the triangle and into empowerment?
Let’s unlock the next evolution together.